I could be good to you
by butterflywingsmadness
Summary: Caroline regrets her past actions and knows she still has unresolved feelings for a hybrid. She calls him and gives a piece of her mind, without, however, letting Klaus do the same. One can say she was doing it because she wanted to be with him, the truth is, it was a goodbye, a way to let things go. A one-shot piece, mostly Hurt/Comfort and in drabblish kinda of writting style


**Hi everyone!**

**Today I saw a video of Klaroline (one? plenty of them but this one stucked aaaaaand I really should go get a life for myself, but I think my fellow Klaroliners know what I'm talking about when I say I get a bit carried away when it comes to this ship) the song was to die for. I mean "seriously?", it can describe so well their relationship. I swear I melted before I was writing. So my fanfiction is based on the song, Good to You by Marianas Trench, and the video can be seen on youtube.**

**Before you read it, I know it's a bit fast paced, it's from Caroline POV and she has a mind so quick and random I think I could portrait correctly but also wish that you can understand her rambling. So tell me what you think, grammar mistakes, bad criticism I can take it if it can still be considered as construtive, go ahead. Also, this is for now complete. I really want to make Klaus POV of this, during the same scene or exploring the aftermath but for now is finished and it would be good to know if you wanted a second part or not, although I think I would make him too OOC. But anyway, enjoy and feel free to review ! **

**I don't have any rights over Klaus, Caroline or TVD/TO, but if I did I would make those two kiss and apologize and run toward the rainbow in a happy ever after. Only after Caroline scolded Klaus for sleeping with the werewolf and put him in his place. All hail to Queen!**

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My phone was placed in my trembling hands, so afraid that I was for calling him, my mind split in two different sides: the one that admitted long buried feelings and the other who played to be my conscience telling me I how wrong that was.

"Hi, Klaus", I said trying to sound cheerful but I couldn't hide the shyness and I heard him holding his breath; I could tell my call had taken him by surprise. "I know you weren't expecting hearing from me", I said, holding on my voice praying for him to say something.

"Caroline", his voice was shaken, and deep in my heart I wanted to think he still felt something for me, after all this time. "To what do I owe you this call?" He cleared his throat, but his voice was still raspy and unsteady, making me picturing his pouting lips and stubble, somehow I could imagine it being thicker than it was when I saw him last time. I swallowed hard, trying to gather my courage to what I was going to say next. The silence fell between us, and I knew he was growing impatient and I was letting fear jolt my resolution, but none of us had the courage to end the call. Despite not knowing his reasons for it, for a moment I'd like to believe he had the same motives as me: I knew if I ended our call, I'd break the little connection we had in a long time and my resolve would blow up and shatter in front of me, I could imagine it disappearing in a cloud of smoke, and the image I still held from him? It would haunt me forever, as every time I closed my eyes, it was him that I saw inside my eyelids. The silence was becoming suffocating, I could tell that, but I couldn't risk my voice being shaken, not for what I had to tell him. I was petrified in my place; I think I even lost my perception of reality as my head was wondering around between all the drawers I dedicated to the thoughts of him, the parts of me that loathed him for what he represented to all of us, the deaths he was followed with, the threats and endangered situations all made by him, or the parts of me that hated him because he made my efforts to hate him seem meaningless and hard to accomplish, because of his actions toward me. There were parts of me that felt flattered for I was once the only one who he showed kindness toward to and different, softened sides of him that he never cared to show everyone else; the parts of me that wished that I was capable of forgetting all he had done and reciprocate those feelings he made sure I knew he felt back then. I still loathed myself for being so blind and for rejecting him so promptly without second glance. Now the only drawer open was the one that held my feelings about him and the desire to tell them, for I was already consumed by them to bare them alone, knowing I deserved nothing more than the same rejection I so vehemently gave him. I wished, for a second, he could forgive all my wrongs and be here to comfort me. But then, I knew it was too much asking for that, he surely wouldn't want to be associated with me no more than five minutes after this call. Coming back to my senses Klaus was still silent, and I start panicking because I didn't know how much time I had being in outer space thinking only to myself and he could very well have disconnected the call due to my silence. "Caroline, are you still there", his voice was frantic and he seemed genuinely worried but then again and reconsidering the subject and my quietness he could very well be just annoyed at the fact that I called and said nothing and I was only imagining things that weren't there, daring myself to hope that he still cared only to be sure that he would crush my heart in the end. Gathering all my strength, and reassuring myself I had nothing to lose as I was almost certain I did lose Klaus a long time ago I let what seemed incoherent thoughts rambling out of my lips, praying in between that he could understand what I was saying.

"I know who I am, Klaus, and what I should be, and I definitively am far from being what I'm supposed to be. I've caught myself forgetting all the wrongs you did because the truth is I'm not what I used to be and I struggle with the need to not want you, but I do. I can't even… breathe thinking about you in New Orleans or wherever you are now with all your distractions and I'm still here, playing a role in a story that's not mine. I can't breathe because I miss the days you would be here, I miss you, and I miss our stupid arguments because I was too blind to see past your inner demons you so showed off only to hide something more, I can't stop hating myself for being so mean to you all the time, I can't stop having feelings for you even if there's been so long after we saw each other, I cannot stop thinking about you and how deeply sorry I am for saying goodbye back then, so sure of myself it was the last and for good, daring to feel joy because you were finally gone. But I still felt empty after you left, and your departing didn't have the effect it was supposed to have. I knew you were in love with me. I knew I had feelings for you and I'm sorry I did not wanted to letting myself feeling them the right way, I'm sorry for being a hundred years late", I sighed taking a deep breath to recompose myself, but still I didn't give him time to answer not yet. "I'm sorry I told you all this only now, and I know, I know you don't feel the same. How could you?" I let a bitter laugh run through my lips. "I'm not asking you to return my feelings, not even match them. I know you must loath me in the depth of your heart, and you're right. You're right to hate me, you're right to shove me off after this, but I needed to tell you. I wish I was different back then, I wish we could be different back then. I know..." I breathed, my voice caught in a dreamy smile I wished he could feel on the other side of the line. "I know, I would be good to you and you'd be good to me, if I let myself feeling what I felt for you despite the obstacles we would confront. Just… know, please, know that I still care deeply for you and I'm letting you go. This is my last goodbye to you, you won't come across with my presence or my phone calls, you must live your life, be the _king_, the artist, the lover, the _father_, be whoever you want to be. Just promise me you stay safe, Klaus".

I was feeling ashamed by the end of my random blurting, and I didn't let him answer me as I ended the call without him saying any word. This was goodbye, he shouldn't even give second thoughts about all I said, and he wouldn't I was sure. This was goodbye for good, and my last open drawer dedicated to him in the depths of my mind was now ready to close.

This was it. I closed my eyes and entered that space reserved for him, the darkest corner of my mind, with unresolved feelings know finding their closure and I was ready to let go. I closed those very warm feelings deep inside of me; I would not revisit them in the nearer future. Closing the subject and pushing it further away to the depths of my thoughts, I turned my back, destroyed my phone and ran.

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**Thanks for reading,**

**GG**


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